Thursday, June 18, 2009


Looking for a job is a huge pain in the ass. Working for free equally of an annoyance. Mind you, it doesn't bother me interning and getting diddly-squat for my time, hard work and effort. Even more, after doing intern business for awhile, it bothers me the company interning for doesn't offer me a job. Even a part-time job, I mean, what the fuck else are you supposed to intern for? Experience, I know. I've got it now. When a position arises in a company you intern for, wouldn't you think they may interview or approach you about that job?
Apparently not.
So, I'm gonna start researching and laying down some ideas to start something on my own. I'm sick of being unemployed and unemployable because I'm extending my services to all the wrong places. 
I had ideas earlier when I was really pissed off, 3 martinis later they've left the building. I'll figure something out, like always. I've just always been told that hard work pays off. 
Mother Fuck it does. Fuck everyone.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

responsible, not

So Goldie keeps telling me to blog, what about I don't know. Today I didn't go to school again. I went out last night for my friend Nina's Birthday and watched a bunch of fools sing at Chopsticks. I sat around and talked with Bryan Swain & Era Erik, whom I went to High School with. I talked to Charles about how racially undiverse Portland really is, and how miserable he is here. I ordered another beer or 5 in between all these things. I also met another guy I went to high school with. His name was Michael, and I didn't remember him 1. because I was a stoner and didn't talk to anyone who wasn't cool like me 2. He was a drama-nerd.
I'm currently listening to a mix-cd my good friend Rachel made me, and I am thoroughly enjoying it. This song is very dancey and makes me want to drink and dance. There are some hip-hop songs that made me want to get stoned.
I cleaned my house after I got caught in the 5 minute storm. So, since I was soaked I went to the Ash and found Dio & Simon and drank and then ate Simons grilled cheese & tomato. 
I skipped school all week because I went out and got drunk every night. I have finals next week that I haven't thought about, let alone study for.
I have to compose a 2-part invention for my theory class that I haven't even been to in a week. I haven't started the fucking piece either. I also need to edit a modal mirror I wrote for theory, but you know, I really don't feel like doing either of those two things. I need to write up a paper about my internship, I need to write a paper about a seminar, I need to practice a song and ninth chords for my keyboard harmony class. I need to pay some bills. I need to get a job for the summer.  I need to go to Eugene to visit my sisters and mom. And my Grandpas grave. And my Grannys grave, if she even has one. And visit my aunt and cousin in Eugene. 
I need to really find a job, bad. I should probably concentrate on finishing all this shit for school, but I'd rather have a beer. See ya in a minute Hamms.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

fuckin chessy raps

listening to chester french. alright, really i started out by listening to muse, which was just making me stoked on life and i kept listening to it on repeat so i was like, alirght yo, i need a change of pace. so i started at the front of my itunes on simons ipod which was including but not limited to the arcade fire and bright eyes. so of course i had to cry for like 30 minutes. then chester, oh fucking senior french, why do you get me everytime with your El-P remix, all that sexy rexy bass and down dirty dirty shit. it gets me. oh fuck yeah it does, its so bad its good.
GOOD GOD. fuck in a.
its taken me longer to edit this blog then it did to write it, if you get my feel. i am in no shape to write. let alone think or be awake.FUCK EN A.
ohmygodiwantyousobadstephencaseyicantstopthinkingabout youihadadreamaboutyoulastnight thatihaventtoldanyoneaboutexcept rachel. whyidontknowfuckmeforbeingsuchanassholefucfuckfuckfuckfuck