Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Walls Bled Lust, Part I

why is it that some people listen to a certain song over, and over, and over, and over, and over, again, and again, and again?
i do it. i don't know why.
i think i want to do films, movies, entertainment.
entertain me.
good day oregon?
goodbye, oregon.
i am getting used to the idea of getting the fuck over it. okay, i am going to attempt to refrain from using stupid words to describe my feelings at the moment that might be associated with "cursing."
i am looking to get out, of this, right now, at this moment, at a few moments last night. i need a change of scene, i do want to leave the state and frawlick gayly else where, but momentarily i am thinking more relationship friendship status, quo. if you get what i mean.
drama is life, it's just a sad, pathetic and real part, i can deal, i do deal.
i just feel like others don't.
so, i just want to hang out with people who are a bit more real than other people that i've been kicking back beers with. i can deal with my drama, i can deal with your drama, but i can't deal with ya'll until you can start to deal with your own drama.
drama, drama, drama.
such a (insert curse word here) stupid descriptive word.
on to other things;
i went and saw Revolution Road today with Rachel, I much enjoyed it.
Like how I start to punctuate correctly when I talk about things I enjoy? Strange.
Anyhow, largely depressing, very real, but so good.
I also just happened to watch Puccini For Beginners, it was also largely amusing. More of an uplifter, like, life goes on after-woe for the Revolution Road.
I don't really stress or get anxieties about things.
I suppose I tend to let them pass. As others beg to differ and bicker over trivial foe-truths, foe-angst that's built up so much in their sub-consciousness, the conscious of my sub-conscious, I suppose. Rather than light a rat on fire and hang it by it's tail and let it all wail, and I don't really have a action for the reaction people tend to have - and I'm sorry, but like I have already kindly stated, I can't deal with your undealings of sorts. I may make-up words, but at least I can deal with the truth.
The truth is I am a people pleaser. So (insert another curse word here) off, man. I'm tired of pleasing some people, I am not tired of pleasing myself. I will do what it takes to please myself. To drink, to not drink. To smoke, to not smoke. To eat, to not eat.
To live, I am. Probably more real life situation, real life (insert another curse word here) life life life life life.
And that's just it, isin't it? It just goes on, and on, and on, and on.
(Curse word) lovely.
Either way, I am going to keep trucking on, doing what I want to do, doing what I dream to do, making me and my kitties and my relations happy and fun and a (curse word) fun time for all to (curse word) enjoy.
SO (CURSE WORD) YOU. Or not, mostly just that haters. Or whomever can't.

No comments: